yOu mEaN tHe wOrLd tO mE!!!

I was so little I remember, eating around in the sands...

I was a kid so restless, But you held me safely in your hands...

Jumping in your arms, I scratched your face, Oh I was so wild...

You kissed me gently, moved your hands on my face, and I turned mild...

But I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Pa!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I was so stubborn I remember, when you sat alongside to feed me...

I vomited everything and ran, no matter how good you cooked for me...

You ran after me with glass filled with milk, Oh you really cared for me...

I never listened to you, I was always what I was never supposed to be...

But I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Ma!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I grew up like some distracted lad, one of those careless freak kinds...

I made many mistakes on my way, I hid, I lied and blundered few times...

Still you always corrected me, You believed, much better, I could be...

Though u lost many things in your life, But you never lost ur faith in me...

So I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Gods!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I always complained, no matter how much for me you sacrificed...

I always thought u were no good, for evrythng I felt I could alone decide...

I got carried away with the mirage around and every time I lost the fight...

But now I realize I was wrong all the way, and you were always so right...

So I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Gods!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

nOtHiNg eLsE mAtTeRs!!!

I know you are angry, for reasons, I don't wanna remember....

I know I have been bad and bad enough to make you cry....

Believe me my luv, it wasn't the way, Never, I meant this....

Look at me, I wanna remove your tears away and make you smile....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

I owe you all, everything I have, for giving me this beautiful smile....

Can't tell you how much, you and your luv means to me....

Can't tell you how fortunate I am, to have you in my Life back again....

Come my luv, give me a hug, and let our hearts sing in this rain....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

Is it the magic of your hug, that I feel so relaxed?....

Don't you try and go away now, for I wanna hold your hands forever....

You look so beautiful, I just don't wanna keep my eyes off you....

Somewhere I wanna get lost, where I am, I want no clue....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

Lemme catch you, and take you to a place so lonely....

Lemme see you, touch you, I wanna hear you sigh....

Lemme come closer, hold you tight, I wanna feel your warmth....

Let us allow nothing, not even the air, to pass through us....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

tHe wEiRd dReAm!!!

They say opportunity once lost does not come back. I agree to this to a very small extent. I could have easily disagreed to it completely, hadn't that anomalous incidence happened. Like any other normal day I had some Snacks in the evening then sufficient dinner and milk later in the night ( i dint booze those dayzz) to catch some nice sleep. I went to my room and hit the sack hard at around 10:30. I could have never imagined in my wildest of the nightmares as to what a bizarre dream i would get.
Playing cricket with my friends was always a great time pass. We all got together for the match against our juniors. For some reasons I could not bat well as I was not able to hit the ball as I normally did. Something was fishy out there. The bat seemed so heavy and everything was going in slow motion. Anyways the other mates played well and we won comprehensively. Later I went to my friends place (my first crush ;-)). Though the truth was I wanted to meet her and talk to her. But as always I could say nothing. It was always a wonderful feeling seeing her. I still remember that moment. I rang the bell and was feeling so uncomfortable standing outside her home, looking at what i was wearing, how was i looking n all that shit. She came out of her home. She was wearing this loose t-shirt and a skirt. Her glowing cute face was just ultra mesmerizing. Her pink white little lips looked as soft as rose petal and when she gently did that lil push to keep her hairs off her face, that was it, a perfect icing on the cake. Her face expressions were js so unavoidable, especially when she smiled. I hardly cared for what she spoke, as for me the ears would stop working whenever she was there. In fact the only thing that worked then, were my eyes. After some blah blah blah...(js to stay longer) i asked her sm books and as always I came back home empty handed js with the books to make the whole thing look unfishy. I tried studying (her books only even though I had the ones of better authors ;-)) for some time and later on succumbed to the temptation of kissing them and I did make sure no one was watching ;-). It was later in the evening when that scary and wonderful thing happened. I went outside started the scooter to get something to eat, I realized my stomach was already full. I felt I had eaten something already. My memory ran back……......
Snacks………….dinner………………milk…………………..sleep………..and…!!!????

What the Fuck!! I was just sleeping!! How come I am here outside on my scooter? I slept in my room. It scared the hell out of me when I finally realized that I was seeing myself doing all the stuff starting from cricket match, meeting my first crush, the book borrowing, studying etc. It was all in the dream. Then came the next question. What do I do now? How do I wake up? How do I go back now? I have to wake up some how". I was so scared and started thinking out on various options. Suddenly I thought if I can go back to the same room, sleep for some time and wake up, I might wake up from this dream. It was a doubtful idea but I tried and it worked. Finally I got up, saw myself alone in my room. It was 6 AM in the morning. I was sweating heavily and looked horrified. I went out and looked at my scooter. I was there, just few seconds before, in my dream. I looked at the sky and wondered whether it was lucky or unlucky to wake up. Lucky, because I was back finally in the real world and unlucky, because of what all I could have done in that dream which I didn’t do. I could have asked her for a drive. I could have probably asked for a kiss also without any fear since it was a dream. . I could have gone to my favorite teacher’s place and told her that I really liked her. I could have……..Ahhhh MAN!! The question is what i cud not have done??? Everything was left undone. No doubt the strange dream was over, but I was regretting the fact that it was gone. I thought why the smart part of my brain acted so stupid.
Even today that dream is as fresh as ever in my mind. Though with the changed times, I no longer regret the lOsT oPpOrTuNiTy as it actually gave me a reason to write smthng!!!

iS iT aLl taT bAd ???

People get wiser with age. Tats what I heard while I grew up and I believed this statement. In fact I was absolutely convinced about it. Though I am sure you would be more convinced if somebody tells you that NDTV Imagine and Rakhi sawant are planning for a sequel of “rakhi sawant ka swayamvar” (apologies to her first husband, Elaish par-jaane-wala or mar-jaane-wala or whatever ).

But lately I realized that getting wise with age is not the case with me and actually it’s just the opposite. I mean I sat one day and looked back the way I have been, I realized that I was more sincere and diligent, I used to study harder, I had lesser bad habits, I was more homely, I even abused lesser, I used to hurt lesser people, though never did it intentionally, I noticed lesser girls and that too only when they wore this flamboyant transparent dresses which actually caused my little eyes to become bigger n wider, I watched lesser porn ( I had my sources;-) ), I never boozed which I do occasionally now, never smoked (Don’t worry my well wishers n my frns, I js did it for ‘Tashan’, I wont become habitual, I swear!!), I was more sure of myself and there were hell lot of other things in which I think I was ‘better’.

Now if u are a normal person reading this and you have your brains intact then there’s a high probability that you would agree with me that most of us develop better habits with age and people do get wiser as they grow old. But I don’t clearly understand what’s wrong with me. My situation reminds me of the movie called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button starring Brad Pitt which was based on reverse ageing. Though my situation is little different from Brad Pitt (in fact it's veryyy different....sun rahi ho angelina!! sirf tumhari wajah se...) , who was born as an old man and died as a child in the movie, but it seems more serious to me because, SHIT MAN!! I don’t wanna die being called as an Unwise-Filthy-Reckless-Wasteful piece of shit.

The most disturbing out of all the wrong stuff that really drives me crazy is the “CONFUSION” aspect of my life that has got attached to me like a key is to lock . In fact of all the past relationships I had, the one which has survived successfully against all the odds, is the relationship between me and my confusion. We two are Hell of a companions. We never have to try and make our relationship work. It just works for us. Sounds funny, right??? It actually would not have if u were in my place n I was in urs, and I wud have been laughing at u, making those I-AM-BETTER-THAN-YOU-CONFUSED-LOSER gestures at you n destroying all the deep hidden traces of ego and self respect in ur dumb head (now u laugh!!!).

I was saying it’s not funny at all. I’ll try to explain.

Have u ever been in a situation when you have your final exam of some course the next day ( not when u were in ur 6^th, 8^th or even 12^th grade but when u r pursuing a fucking MS degree) and u have studied nothing and the previous night you feel kinda confused whether u should open the book or js go to sleep….??????

Or like someday you are having a booze party and you and your friends are all excited about drinking the romanov’s , the royal stags, the jack daniels etc. and after taking 5-6 shots u feel kinda confused about whether u shud call ur best friend or one f ur old gal friend….??????

Or if that does not go into ur dumb head , have you ever been in a situation when after watching a nice romantic movie with hot n steamy scenes in between and a sad ending, and there u go, the uncertainty entrapping you again n you feel kinda confused about whether you should go n jack off, thinking of the various mysterious curves of the woman in the movie or u should just appreciate the sad ending….?????

I mean this mental state of mine really pisses me off some times but at times I kinda like it though when I see people around me who are so sure of themselves in whatever they are doing but still not satisfied with anything in their lives. It is then when I actually luv to feel that there’s nothing wrong in being little wrong sometimes. Anyways who cares. I mean I can’t afford to care otherwise ill have another thing to keep me confused. So before I confuse u guys more, lemme put a ‘sure’ shot full stop to this weird post so that I can have my dinner and later watch a Tom hanks movie…………or may be I wud watch some Jim carrey’s?? Hmmm....I’ll go figure out…………………

tHe rEaL hErO!!!