TiLL tHeN!!!

I was going around, taking a walk
Just happened to meet you somewhere on the way
We didn't share the same last names
But we did share the best moments I can say...

I grew up somewhere far away
But I never got so close to anyone
You were not a blood brother to me
But when you were there, Life seemed all fun...

We studied in the same college
We had the same close pals
We took rides on the same old bike
We chased the same pretty gals...

We never woke up early enough for any class
We never reached any lecture on time
Some days when we did make it to few
The Over Head Transmission worked perfectly fine...
















I got nervous when I was about to propose her
But with your booster some unexpected confidence I drew
I had remembered every word and said everything right
Still I had the same "Rejected" response like you...

Sometimes you made fun of me when you were on a high
But you never forgot to say you luv me after every shot
Sometimes you argued with me you fought with me
But in the end there was only one shoulder on which you cried a lot...

If u hvn't recognized me yet, I wanna tell you one thing in the end
I am no stranger I am no alien, I am what you call a "Friend"
Waving gudbye is hard, by saying I am fine, I don't wanna feign
I promise I'll meet u someday, till den I'll go around n walk again...

WaLk tO rEmEmBeR!!!

I work part time as a desk staff at resident halls here on campus. Today early morning I had a shift from 8 to 12. Sitting on the couch with a desk in front, I was trying to study the concepts of "Shock waves" (Yeah I know tat sounds crazy!!). Anyways as I was trying to concentrate there was a beep from the elevator on my left which meant somebody was coming down. After a few minutes I heard a voice,
"535".
I looked up, a big guy around 6'4" and a girl around 5', were standing in front of the desk. They looked sleepy for obvious reasons. Must have had a loving night. The girl had unfairly sweet killer looks and the guy was undoubtedly lucky.
"Pardon", I said as I wanted to confirm the room number again.
"room 535", The girl said this time.
"sure", I replied back and pulled out their Id's from 535 pack in the box and returned them.
"Have a wonderful day", I wished them and they wished me back.
They went out from the automatic door. I could not help noticing as they were walking straight out. I was able to see them from far enough. The sky was little darker than usual. It had rained earlier. There was this cool morning breeze along with a bit of drizzle in the air. They were walking slowly, holding hands. The guy hugged the girl sideways. Just a few steps later the girl hugged him back. The girl kept her one hand in her pullover's pocket as it was cold but the guy was fine in his t-shirts. For some obvious unobvious reasons, guys never feel cold when they are with girls. The guy said something to the girl. I am not sure what that was but it had certainly made her smile as she gave that little shy look to him. Two steps later she looked up towards the guy who was already looking down. They came closer and the girl's lips touched the guy's for a second and they hugged a little tighter, feeling the rush of blood inside.
They kept walking.
The guy must have joked about something again as the girl had a boisterous laugh. She hit the guy on the shoulder and started palying around. She jumped over the guy's back and the guy held her legs and kept walking in a funny way. After few steps he pulled her down. They looked at each other, shared a nice warm hug, smiled and started walking in the opposite directions. It was one of the loveliest walks I had seen in a long time. It was certainly a walk to remember. They had lived one of the best moment of their lives in those few steps. Sitting little far away from them I was wondering If they were aware of it..............

LuV 'n' LoSt!!!

Could not believe my eyes, when I saw it

Why you had to hide it from me..

I would have understood your feelings

just for once you should have told me..

Oh Baby I have lost you, I have lost love

You were the best thing that happened to me..

Guess I am still in love with someone

Someone that you used to be.........

They had told me to stop it all

They said you were a liar..

But I never listened to them

Never knew I was walking on fire..

I had faith in you, I always trusted you

With you around my heart felt so free..

Guess I am still in love with someone

Someone that you used to be.........

I remember all the words you said

Before every breath I take..

You told me I was your life

Was there any truth or was it all fake??

How wonderful I felt being with you

May be the truth was something I never wanted to see..

Guess I am still in love with someone

Someone that you used to be.........

All the while you were playing with me

you had a side you never wanted to show..

I wanna erase your memories forever

I wanna forget you and let it all go..

But it's little hard to forget those moments

when it was just you and no one else but me..

Guess I am still in love with someone

Someone that you used to be.........

mAn oF tHe mAtCh!!!

Cricket is one of those rarest of rare things which has never bored me (as if I am the only one in India of this category :-) ). I remember those days when it was just cricket that was running through my veins.
It was the summer holidays time. As usual I was playing cricket in the verandah alone. Hit the ball towards the wall and play it when it bounced back-- This was my way of playing cricket tournaments. That day, my mom was sitting in the room nearby, cutting vegetables and warning me to stop. I ignored her warnings as always. There were window panes just alongside the wall. It was safe as I had never broken anything in that section of the house ( record speaks itself ;-) ).
Australia batted first and scored a total of 20 runs ( it's room cricket na...). It was Sachin who opened the innings for India and McGrath was the bowler. The first ball bounced a little high and I left it. Oh nice leave (I was doing commentary also dumb!). Next delivery was a good length. Tendulkar tried to leave and there you go….McGrath strikes!!!!
Wrong judgement by Tendulkar.
Off stump gone.
The crowd went silent in disappointment.
Next batsman, Ganguly. OH! Beware of the short ball MAN! ( I told myself)

McGrath running hard, first delivery, Yorker, Ganguly caught in surprise and middle stump went flying towards the keeper.
What a sight for the bowler!
Practice Ganguly Practice!!
Move your feet. HUH!!
India zero for the loss of two wickets.
Soon the scorecard was 9 runs for 6 wickets and all the wickets were taken by McGrath (I had not changed the bowler…lol!).
Then comes, Robin Singh, as always, to rescue India.
India needed 12 more runs to win the match.
First ball bouncer by McGrath. Robin singh could not resist the temptation and hooked it.
WHIP!!
Straight into the basket of vegetables and there you see the onions flying in the air.
Mom’s face turned red and those divine words came out instead of just scoldings. I didn’t hear anything (I was wearing helmet na..).
By the way it was a six in case you missed it.
Now only six more runs required to win. Mcgrath running towards the batsman, furious as always, tried Yorker, but oh it’s a full toss, Robin Singh can’t miss it even with his eyes closed.
SMACK!! There goes the ball, high in the air, directly breaking through the window panes and the crowd cheering India’s dramatic win. Wow!!!….
Hey Wait! What is that sound?
My GOD!! Mom in full flow, ready with the belan and all those divine words
@#$%^&*(@#%^
I was like, Mom it was Robin Singh and not me..
@#$%^&*()$%&
Mom continued….
I felt sad….very sad…
Hey not for the window panes or mom’s divine love for me but for Mcgrath.
So sad. He is a better bowler. May be it was not his day.
I thought and left the ground and waited for the man of the match award ceremony in the night, with Dad as chief guest...

yOu mEaN tHe wOrLd tO mE!!!

I was so little I remember, eating around in the sands...

I was a kid so restless, But you held me safely in your hands...

Jumping in your arms, I scratched your face, Oh I was so wild...

You kissed me gently, moved your hands on my face, and I turned mild...

But I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Pa!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I was so stubborn I remember, when you sat alongside to feed me...

I vomited everything and ran, no matter how good you cooked for me...

You ran after me with glass filled with milk, Oh you really cared for me...

I never listened to you, I was always what I was never supposed to be...

But I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Ma!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I grew up like some distracted lad, one of those careless freak kinds...

I made many mistakes on my way, I hid, I lied and blundered few times...

Still you always corrected me, You believed, much better, I could be...

Though u lost many things in your life, But you never lost ur faith in me...

So I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Gods!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

I always complained, no matter how much for me you sacrificed...

I always thought u were no good, for evrythng I felt I could alone decide...

I got carried away with the mirage around and every time I lost the fight...

But now I realize I was wrong all the way, and you were always so right...

So I wanna tell you something now...

Before it's too late and before I loose your magic touch...

OH Dear Gods!! You mean the world to me and I love you so much........

nOtHiNg eLsE mAtTeRs!!!

I know you are angry, for reasons, I don't wanna remember....

I know I have been bad and bad enough to make you cry....

Believe me my luv, it wasn't the way, Never, I meant this....

Look at me, I wanna remove your tears away and make you smile....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

I owe you all, everything I have, for giving me this beautiful smile....

Can't tell you how much, you and your luv means to me....

Can't tell you how fortunate I am, to have you in my Life back again....

Come my luv, give me a hug, and let our hearts sing in this rain....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

Is it the magic of your hug, that I feel so relaxed?....

Don't you try and go away now, for I wanna hold your hands forever....

You look so beautiful, I just don't wanna keep my eyes off you....

Somewhere I wanna get lost, where I am, I want no clue....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

Lemme catch you, and take you to a place so lonely....

Lemme see you, touch you, I wanna hear you sigh....

Lemme come closer, hold you tight, I wanna feel your warmth....

Let us allow nothing, not even the air, to pass through us....

OH Baby!!

I wanna make this moment a dream, a dream that never shatters....

So just feel the luv n just luv, cuz nothing else matters................

tHe wEiRd dReAm!!!

They say opportunity once lost does not come back. I agree to this to a very small extent. I could have easily disagreed to it completely, hadn't that anomalous incidence happened. Like any other normal day I had some Snacks in the evening then sufficient dinner and milk later in the night ( i dint booze those dayzz) to catch some nice sleep. I went to my room and hit the sack hard at around 10:30. I could have never imagined in my wildest of the nightmares as to what a bizarre dream i would get.
Playing cricket with my friends was always a great time pass. We all got together for the match against our juniors. For some reasons I could not bat well as I was not able to hit the ball as I normally did. Something was fishy out there. The bat seemed so heavy and everything was going in slow motion. Anyways the other mates played well and we won comprehensively. Later I went to my friends place (my first crush ;-)). Though the truth was I wanted to meet her and talk to her. But as always I could say nothing. It was always a wonderful feeling seeing her. I still remember that moment. I rang the bell and was feeling so uncomfortable standing outside her home, looking at what i was wearing, how was i looking n all that shit. She came out of her home. She was wearing this loose t-shirt and a skirt. Her glowing cute face was just ultra mesmerizing. Her pink white little lips looked as soft as rose petal and when she gently did that lil push to keep her hairs off her face, that was it, a perfect icing on the cake. Her face expressions were js so unavoidable, especially when she smiled. I hardly cared for what she spoke, as for me the ears would stop working whenever she was there. In fact the only thing that worked then, were my eyes. After some blah blah blah...(js to stay longer) i asked her sm books and as always I came back home empty handed js with the books to make the whole thing look unfishy. I tried studying (her books only even though I had the ones of better authors ;-)) for some time and later on succumbed to the temptation of kissing them and I did make sure no one was watching ;-). It was later in the evening when that scary and wonderful thing happened. I went outside started the scooter to get something to eat, I realized my stomach was already full. I felt I had eaten something already. My memory ran back……......
Snacks………….dinner………………milk…………………..sleep………..and…!!!????

What the Fuck!! I was just sleeping!! How come I am here outside on my scooter? I slept in my room. It scared the hell out of me when I finally realized that I was seeing myself doing all the stuff starting from cricket match, meeting my first crush, the book borrowing, studying etc. It was all in the dream. Then came the next question. What do I do now? How do I wake up? How do I go back now? I have to wake up some how". I was so scared and started thinking out on various options. Suddenly I thought if I can go back to the same room, sleep for some time and wake up, I might wake up from this dream. It was a doubtful idea but I tried and it worked. Finally I got up, saw myself alone in my room. It was 6 AM in the morning. I was sweating heavily and looked horrified. I went out and looked at my scooter. I was there, just few seconds before, in my dream. I looked at the sky and wondered whether it was lucky or unlucky to wake up. Lucky, because I was back finally in the real world and unlucky, because of what all I could have done in that dream which I didn’t do. I could have asked her for a drive. I could have probably asked for a kiss also without any fear since it was a dream. . I could have gone to my favorite teacher’s place and told her that I really liked her. I could have……..Ahhhh MAN!! The question is what i cud not have done??? Everything was left undone. No doubt the strange dream was over, but I was regretting the fact that it was gone. I thought why the smart part of my brain acted so stupid.
Even today that dream is as fresh as ever in my mind. Though with the changed times, I no longer regret the lOsT oPpOrTuNiTy as it actually gave me a reason to write smthng!!!

iS iT aLl taT bAd ???

People get wiser with age. Tats what I heard while I grew up and I believed this statement. In fact I was absolutely convinced about it. Though I am sure you would be more convinced if somebody tells you that NDTV Imagine and Rakhi sawant are planning for a sequel of “rakhi sawant ka swayamvar” (apologies to her first husband, Elaish par-jaane-wala or mar-jaane-wala or whatever ).

But lately I realized that getting wise with age is not the case with me and actually it’s just the opposite. I mean I sat one day and looked back the way I have been, I realized that I was more sincere and diligent, I used to study harder, I had lesser bad habits, I was more homely, I even abused lesser, I used to hurt lesser people, though never did it intentionally, I noticed lesser girls and that too only when they wore this flamboyant transparent dresses which actually caused my little eyes to become bigger n wider, I watched lesser porn ( I had my sources;-) ), I never boozed which I do occasionally now, never smoked (Don’t worry my well wishers n my frns, I js did it for ‘Tashan’, I wont become habitual, I swear!!), I was more sure of myself and there were hell lot of other things in which I think I was ‘better’.

Now if u are a normal person reading this and you have your brains intact then there’s a high probability that you would agree with me that most of us develop better habits with age and people do get wiser as they grow old. But I don’t clearly understand what’s wrong with me. My situation reminds me of the movie called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button starring Brad Pitt which was based on reverse ageing. Though my situation is little different from Brad Pitt (in fact it's veryyy different....sun rahi ho angelina!! sirf tumhari wajah se...) , who was born as an old man and died as a child in the movie, but it seems more serious to me because, SHIT MAN!! I don’t wanna die being called as an Unwise-Filthy-Reckless-Wasteful piece of shit.

The most disturbing out of all the wrong stuff that really drives me crazy is the “CONFUSION” aspect of my life that has got attached to me like a key is to lock . In fact of all the past relationships I had, the one which has survived successfully against all the odds, is the relationship between me and my confusion. We two are Hell of a companions. We never have to try and make our relationship work. It just works for us. Sounds funny, right??? It actually would not have if u were in my place n I was in urs, and I wud have been laughing at u, making those I-AM-BETTER-THAN-YOU-CONFUSED-LOSER gestures at you n destroying all the deep hidden traces of ego and self respect in ur dumb head (now u laugh!!!).

I was saying it’s not funny at all. I’ll try to explain.

Have u ever been in a situation when you have your final exam of some course the next day ( not when u were in ur 6^th, 8^th or even 12^th grade but when u r pursuing a fucking MS degree) and u have studied nothing and the previous night you feel kinda confused whether u should open the book or js go to sleep….??????

Or like someday you are having a booze party and you and your friends are all excited about drinking the romanov’s , the royal stags, the jack daniels etc. and after taking 5-6 shots u feel kinda confused about whether u shud call ur best friend or one f ur old gal friend….??????

Or if that does not go into ur dumb head , have you ever been in a situation when after watching a nice romantic movie with hot n steamy scenes in between and a sad ending, and there u go, the uncertainty entrapping you again n you feel kinda confused about whether you should go n jack off, thinking of the various mysterious curves of the woman in the movie or u should just appreciate the sad ending….?????

I mean this mental state of mine really pisses me off some times but at times I kinda like it though when I see people around me who are so sure of themselves in whatever they are doing but still not satisfied with anything in their lives. It is then when I actually luv to feel that there’s nothing wrong in being little wrong sometimes. Anyways who cares. I mean I can’t afford to care otherwise ill have another thing to keep me confused. So before I confuse u guys more, lemme put a ‘sure’ shot full stop to this weird post so that I can have my dinner and later watch a Tom hanks movie…………or may be I wud watch some Jim carrey’s?? Hmmm....I’ll go figure out…………………

tHe rEaL hErO!!!

nO rEaSoNs!!!

I never asked from you ....your precious time and personal space .....

I never asked from you ....your kind attention and expensive gifts .....

I never asked from you .... to be there for me in all the seasons.....

All I asked from you ....was to "lUv" me alwayz for no reasons.....

I never wanted you .... to take my words so wrong....

I never wanted you .... to misunderstand my honest feelings....

I never wanted you .... to feel the unnecessary burden of my expectations....

All I wanted from you .... was to "lUv" me alwayz for no reasons.....

I never felt .... that i wud blame anyone for my pains.....

I never felt .... that some one wud break my trust so easily.....

I never felt .... that life wud be so complicated in my visions.....

All I felt .... that there was someone who wud "lUv" me alwayz for no reasons.....

I never expected .... that my luv will alwayz be far away from me....

I never expected .... the number of changes i would go thru with time....

But inspite of all those changes .... I still have the same old feelings....

and even today all I expect from some one .... is to "lUv" me alwayz for no reasons....